I am currently in transit back to America. The decision to pack up and leave came very suddenly, but was entirely necessary.
My decision to leave was for personal health reasons. While living in Japan was not easy, I was truly enjoying my time working, making friends, and just being there. However, a terrible experience reopened some past trauma from my life, and I need to return home to take some personal time to recollect myself and heal.
I don't regret this choice, and I doubt that I ever will. I wanted to stay for at least a year, but my health, well-being, and safety must come first.
I was fortunate enough to get a very cheap plane ticket leaving the next day, so I threw everything into my bags, bought some last minute gifts for friends back home, and am now writing this from my layover in Toronto.
I will definitely return to Japan in the future, but they will only be short trips, not to live. Two months sounds like such a short time, but it felt like years and I will always consider Tokyo my second home.
I can only begin to guess what have might happened. I just hope it hasn't giving you a bad impression of Japan and hope to see you making videos back there in the future. Some trauma can have a lasting impact on people and even to the point where it governs there lives and controls there thoughts and actions. You can't let whatever you may or may not have been trying to run away from in the first place. You are young and you can't let this define you and how you will conduct yourself in the future. You must try to find peace within yourself and through sheer willpower beat this thing once and for all and have a happy life,since you are very young and beautiful. I hope you are getting healthier and will overcome your problems mentally and physically. And sorry if i tend to ramble at some points and please forgive my horrible grammar. And i am not sure if you hold a Bachelors Degree,but if you do i would try the JET program or one of the very highly recommended Eikaiwas. If you decide to return in the future and work. Seems like you did not get to have the very best first impression of Japan. Which is sad,because even though i have bever beento Japan i feel like i have by watching youtube videos and through the eyes of other Jvloggers like Busankevin and Kurt Bell and Rachel & Jun and Mully, and Myargonauts who is actually a american assistant professor in a Japanese university which is a rarity in Japan. They can give some of the best insights into a foreigner living in Japan and there take on the culture and how life is there. I also hope i didn't offend in the beginning. I have had to overcome things in my past too like a small bout with depression,even though i was never actually diagnosed i already knew what i had and was dealing with it best i could. Coupled with a not so great childhood and i can honestly say i turned out a lot better then anyone expected even if my life is not so great now. I do have many regrets i have about never going to college and following through on certian things. And you already accomplished what i have never been able to do and that was be a resident of Japan. Even though it was only for a short period and not the best of memorys,you should be proud of yourself and the fact you can now says you not only traveled to another country like i never have,but also got to experience life in Japan. I just know if someone like me can overcome those things,then i know you can and hopefully have a great support system surrounding you and helping you stay healthy. Told you i can ramble,hehe. Feel free to message me. Anways i hope your feeling much better now and all the best from Massachusetts,USA Kind Regards-Shaun
ReplyDeleteThanks for sending your thoughts. Unfortunately what happened was not something I could overcome on my own in a foreign country. I have a lot of great memories from my time there, and look forward to visiting a lot in the future and learning more. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep making videos!
Deletewow 2 months and you had a breakdown? that's scary for those of us wanting to move to japan
ReplyDeleteIt really shouldn't be a deterrent at all! My decision to leave at that time was entirely personal and based off of some difficult circumstances that I had at the time. Sometimes things just go wrong in life, regardless of where you are.
DeleteOn a happy note, I have moved back, and this time around things are infinitely better!!